If she doesn't cut it soon I'm going to the barbers !

Nice Barnett shame about the face!

Papillon bred for strange tail ....Scandal !!!

Proof that Papillons have been mated to Cartoon Tigers found in local breeders sitting room!!!!

Dog Whisperer .....My AAAAAHSSS!

Due to dog sitting arrangements We have NINE Papillons in our house at present!!! Cesar ? .........Pah !!! .................. Walk a mile in my shoes !!!

When the Cats away

What do these have in common? When the Cmdr in Chief is away in darkest England at a dog show. This is what I have for tea. Don't tell her anybody...OK?

Born too late (A man living in the wrong century)

Returning from a quick shopping safari with SWMBO today I realised I should have been born a long time ago. I mentally reviewed the morning that had just passed and compared it to the medieval novel I was flicking through recently. Did any of the following conversations take place between Arthur and " Guinnie"? :

" Arthur, you are not wearing that green doublet with that blue chain mail are you?"

" Come on, change up, this horse should be cantering by now!"

" Pull that helmet further down at the back, it will look better!"

" Did you just reverse this horse into the hitching rail?"

I THINK NOT !

Sigh!

Following great demand

I have actually lost count of the amount of requests* I have had to add to this blog!The pressure has finally got to me and I have decided to go for it!

* Two, one of which came from the mad Pap owner I live with!

I watched Ewan and Charlie heading for Africa last night. They spent a horrible couple of days crossing Europe in torrential rain on their motorcycles, before meeting more clement weather later in the programme.

"She who must be obeyed" ( SWMBO ) was working this morning and as we have just about run out of everything, I volunteered last night, from the snug warmth of my reclining armchair to pop into town on the bike to purchase a few essentials.

Imagine my horror when blearily peering from the bedroom window this morning, I observed RAIN and the bushes in the garden lashing around in hurricane force winds!

No excuses, my heroes can do it, so can I.

Now several hours later, the larder is stocked and I am still shivering miserably in front of a hot heater.

Pah , the rain in Italy is warmer!

Why are people scared of Motorcyclists?

Today I had to put my bike into the dealer for a couple of hours. I left my helmet and gloves with the bike and wandered back into town wearing my dark coloured riding gear. Normally when in town I make the effort to smile, make eye contact and even say... " Good Morning".. etc Today 90% of people were looking the other way, crossing the road, or gazing fixedly ahead like Zombies?

I thought the Marlon Brando, Wild One, Hells Angels thing had gone? Apparently not!

No need to lock up your daughters Elgin, its not a Biker invasion. Just a chain and sprocket change!

Tom

27 Years. No time off for good behaviour!

The " Memsahib" and I celebrated our 27 years of marriage yesterday. There was sex in the dining room twice!! Yes a lady from the far north had brought her Papillon bitch to our house to be mated to Louis our resident stud and multiple Crufts competitor. I sulked in the lounge whilst he did his stuff, later in the evening I'm sure I heard him snigger as I walked past.

A final Macam anecdote

James Bolam used to be and probably still is a disgraced Macam in exile "dahn sarf". A few years ago he was invited by the Mayor of Sunderland to open the new multi million pound leisure centre ( no doubt a suitable fee was involved ). He accepted, but when interviewed by a local southern newspaper reporter, was widely quoted as saying:

" I OWE NOTHING TO THE NORTH EAST, AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED I SHALL BE ON THE LAST TRAIN UP THERE AND THE FIRST ONE BACK !! "

The Mayor found out, cancelled the engagement and after a lengthy and pithy reply in the Sunderland Echo, got a local football star to do the ceremony.

Perhaps our "likely lad", whos inital fame and good fortune was based on his "Macamness" should have kept his gob shut until after he was paid................... Shame eh?

Definition of a Macam

A Macam is a person, male or female who was born and bred in Sunderland, a city on the North East coast of England. The most plausible explanation I have heard for the name is the subtle ( to the non Macam ) difference in local accents between Sunderland and their less famous Newcastle neighbours. i.e

Make sounds like cake.................... Newcastle
Take " "

Make sounds like back.................... Sunderland
Take " "

A sentence expressed phonetically in Sunderlandish.

Make them take them back...................... Macam Tackam back.

Three famous Macams:

James Bolam, Kate Adey, John Wayne. ( The hell he was! )

More interesting/amusing facts to follow.

New Blogger searches for inspiration, helped by Desmond, one of his wifes 10,000 Papillons !

Do you know what a "Macam" is?

All will be explained in my next post.

This is me, "Tom two ice-creams" last summer during a day trip around the Highlands.